About the Spirit

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This blog started out with "about me" in the title. My whole life has been "about me". I hope that the entries that I make will be about the Spirit and how He has changed my life because it has always been about Him and how He works through us.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

the past two weeks

The neat thing about this blog is I can write anything I want and hope that everyone that reads it will understand.

I've had a real very emotional and heart-wrenching two weeks. First, I was turned down from the Deaconate Program by a very uncaring and dispassionate Archbishop. I'm not going into specifics but lets just say I was almost in tears when I left his office. Second, I went to the VA Hospital in the cities and was told I have skin cancer. No big deal but lets say it put me back a little. Third, I just found out that they're planning to close the little coffee shop that I love to work at. And fourth and the most important...While I was visiting Chris I was made aware of the fact that I sent my girls, while they were very young, down to the grocery store to get me cigars while I laid on my butt at home. I don't remember sending them and I'm ashamed of myself. I remember when I was little and my dad sent me to the store then screamed at me if I didn't come back with what he wanted. I hated that experience and it stayed with me all these years. I can only hope that my girls don't feel the same way about me. As I wrote above I am ashamed of myself...my dad probably didn't know nor remember what he did to me. This is one time when I can say that that trait that I received from my dad, I'm not proud of.


Lorrie said...

Oh, dad I didn't realize all the stuff you have been going through these past few weeks.... I need to keep in better touch. I am sorry about the deacon position, I know how much that meant to you. Did he give you a reason? Also, I didn't realize your mole was cancerous-I went back and read mom's post better and realized she did write that-I thought you were still waiting for the results-what is the next step? And I can't believe they are closing the coffee shop?!? What a shame for them and you-you are going to missed there (as I witnessed at your ceremony). Change is sometimes good and maybe all these signs are a way of telling you something-hang in there, I know things will look up soon. And don't worry about the running to the store to get Cigs-We all think of it as a fond memory-right girls? We don't have the same memory as you have of your dad...We thought we were important at the time (: Love you and thinking of you!

The Daily Rhythm said...

I too am sorry you are going through all of this! I had no idea that you were turned down for the Deacon program-I know that meant alot to you! And why are they closing the coffee shop?
As Lorrie said, change can sometimes be a good thing, so as some doors close, it then allows others to open up. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, whether that reason is apparent right away or not.

About us getting the cigars....it was just something we had to do, like clean our room or other chore. For me, I personally don't think about it that much, it really wasn't a big deal. And we always got to meet some interesting fellas down there, didn't we girls?

I love you and I hope you feel better soon!
(Oh-and Mara has a new name for you... "Pa Pa". We were looking at photo albums today and every time there was a picture of you, she would point and say "Pa Pa". Its very cute!

The Spirit said...

Thanks Lorrie. Things have been like a rollercoaster for me this past week. I guess according to the Bishop I'm too old to spend the money on for the training. So, I guess I'm to old to have a calling to the Deaconate. I didn't know age had anything to do with a calling. I'll hang in there and continue to do what I can for our Church knowing that as long as I volunteer everything will be fine...I know better then to ask for money to continue in my studies.
Anyway, thanks for your support. I love you and you are a wonderful daughter.

The Spirit said...

Thanks to you too Julie, I was writing my response to Lorrie's comment at the same time you were writing yours. I really miss all of you especially Mara, she reminds me so much of you when you were her age. Both of you look my Mom's side of the family. Love you!

Peace is every step said...

Sorry about your tough couple of weeks. Thank goodness the cancer was the type that can be safely removed & and non-spreading.
I agree with Lorrie & Julie, things happen in our lives always for a reason----you just have a different path that you are meant to take or a different direction. Doesn't make it easier, but it does give yourself a little peace with it.

Chris said...

Dad...so sorry I haven't posted a comment until now. I always look at your new posts section, but your newer posts weren't titled there, so I'm just reading the newest blogs right now.
I never thought that talking about the cigar stories would make you sad. I don't want you to think that I was talking about them in a negative way! I love all the stories from growing up in Maryland, and I'd never wish it to be any different. All those childhood memories, good and bad, have made us all who we are today--and I think we've all turned out pretty darn good if you ask me! :)
Please, tell us more about the coffee shop! I can't believe they're closing it. I have a feeling the staff at the hospital will put up a fight, though. They all love you!
Dad, you're a good man, and should be proud of all you accomplish. God's just opening doors to what He wants for you. Open your heart, too, and be ready. He's definetely not done with you yet!
Love you Dad!

The Spirit said...

Oh Chris, I don't want you to feel bad, I know you weren't complaining about going to get the cigars. It just reminded me of my past. My dad would send me to the store and I was told that I had to find what he wanted even if it took me all night. Once while I was going from store to store looking for his special kind of snack cake, I got lost. I didn't get home for three hours and I got chewed out for not getting the cake. I hated that experience and when you talked about going to the store,it brought it all back except for this time...I was my father.